It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There is no family in America without a clock, and consequently there is no fair pretext for the usual Sunday medley of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Eight grown Americans out of ten dread the coming of the Fourth, with its pandemonium and its perils, and they rejoice when… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
By "trampling upon the helpless abroad" with unchecked surveillance, Americans have learned, "by a natural process, to endure with apathy the like… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If the Christians of America could be persuaded to vote God and a clean ticket, it would bring about a moral revolution… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
All the territorial possessions of all the political establishments in the earth--including America, of course-- consist of pilferings from other people's wash.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
As for the dinosaur - But Noah's conscience was easy; it was not named in his cargo list and he and the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The newspaper that obstructs the law on a trivial pretext, for money's sake, is a dangerous enemy to the public weal. That… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The low level which commercial morality has reached in America is deplorable. We have humble God fearing Christian men among us who… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Do not fear the enemy, for your enemy can only take your life. It is far better that you fear the media,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In our day we don't allow a hundred and thirty years to elapse between glimpses of a marvel. If somebody should discover… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the American was, however, one degree better off than the average… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
We have to be despised by somebody whom we regard as above us, or we are not happy; we have to have… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Crowds stand around all day long and criticise that bridge, and find fault with it, and tell with unlimited frankness how it… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
All publishers are Columbuses. The successful author is their America. The reflection that they-like Columbus-didn't discover what they expected to discover, and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In America, we hurry-which is well; but when the day's work is done, we go on thinking of losses and gains, we… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The people of those foreign countries are very, very ignorant. They looked curiously at the costumes we had brought from the wilds… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
This is a Christian country. Why, so is hell. Inasmuch as Strait is the way and narrow is the gate, and few… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share
If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and… — Mark Twain Copy Share
You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. — Mark Twain Copy Share
