Don’t forget, God can see you masturbating. But don’t stop. He’s almost there. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
When I was 17, I read a profile of Carol Leifer. Since then, I wanted to be her. I still want to be her. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share
My growing up years, we watched 'Happy Days,' every night. I don't know what was reruns and what was new. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share
People can't help what topics cut them deep. It all depends on who's inferring - and what the contexts of their lives are at… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share
In your twenties, I think you should have all of the sex that you're inclined to have, as long as you're safe about it.… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share
Someone on Twitter sent me a page from a textbook. It had a picture of a football player next to a picture of me.… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share
It fills me with a weird rage to wear shoes that make me not able to walk easily or run if I had to.… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share
If you are truly offended by an 80-year-old man saying you're not funny, then you're probably not funny. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share
“If you’ve ever heard that song by Beyoncé, “Single Ladies,” I am one of the people she’s singing about. I have to be, because… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share
If I were somebody else looking at my character, I'd be like, "She's beautiful." I'm practicing. I'm not succeeding. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share
“People who call themselves divas...you are not a diva. I'm pretty sure you're a cunt.” — Sarah Silverman Copy Share
It's just hard to say, "Well, I do this, which means this." If I'm telling you exactly who I am, then there's nothing for… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share
