Tell me a joke and I will know how you behave ~ Tell me a…

“Pretend for a moment that your classes are people. If you were to give them advice about how to behave you would tell them…

— Anonymous

“Is this some kind of joke?" "That's for me to know and you to find out." "Maybe you think it's funny to put up…

— Kurt Vonnegut

A joke is either funny or it's not funny. If I hear a funny joke, you know what I do? I laugh, that's what…

— Alonzo Bodden

My joke is that three black people watch 'The Daily Show' at any given time. So if I'm watching it, that counts, and there's…

— Larry Wilmore

“One more optional piece of advice: If you ever have to give a speech, start with a joke, if you know one.”

— Kurt Vonnegut

You know when Jerry Ford gets the best joke, you know you're in trouble.

— Mark Russell

I'm very much of the "make it dark, make it grim, make it tough", but then, for the love of God, tell a joke.

— Joss Whedon

The awkward momment when you tell a joke and no one laughs lol

— MoCHY

Rick said, "Is there some place we can go and talk?" "You want to talk?," Keir raised an eyebrow. "I never thought I'd see…

— Josh Lanyon

I never could tell a joke. I just started talking to the audience, and when the drunks would yell, "Hey, when do the broads…

— Don Rickles

A lot of the comedians don't even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.

— Bob Saget

Growing up, 'wocka wocka' was like my thing...I would tell a joke and then go, 'Wocka wocka!' I was a bit of a nerd.

— Amy Adams

A comic strip has a rhythm and a pattern, and you got to get in and out quick. So you set up a joke,…

— Stephan Pastis

I don't do plays without jokes anymore. I've retired from those plays. I think it's bad manners to invite people to sit in the…

— Bill Nighy

I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or…

— Bill Burr