I haven't seen a Jew run like that since Poland, 1938…

Rob Reiner: Sometimes lying is okay, like when you know what's good.

— South Park

Cartman: You know, maybe we're not seeing heaven because one of us is a J-O-O.

— South Park

Officer Barbrady: You can't kidnap people and lock them in your basement!

— South Park

“We cannot know with certainty if God or Christ exist. The COULD. Then again, there COULD be a giant reptilian bird in charge of…

— South Park

Genetic engineering is man's way of correcting God's hideous mistakes, like German people. - Mr. Garrison

— South Park

I'm beginning to think that maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull. - Stan Marsh

— South Park

“We cannot know with certainty if God or Chris exists. They COULD. Then again, there COULD be a giant reptilian bird in charge of…

— South Park

Mr. Garrison: I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

— South Park

Don't do drugs kids. There is a time and place for everything. It's called college. - Chef

— South Park

In other news, a pink eye epidemic is now sweeping the town of South Park. Here with a live report is a midget wearing…

— South Park

Okay, that does it! Ya'll be quiet or the cute little bunny dies! - Ms. Crabtree

— South Park

When it comes to a spelling bee, always bet on a Jew. - Uncle Ned

— South Park

Stan: Oh my God they killed Kenny!

— South Park

If Chewbacca lives on Endor, then you must acquit! - Johnny Cochrane

— South Park

Tony Hayward: We no longer f*** the Earth, we DP it.

— South Park