It was in these sessions that I first came across the "To…
““It was in these sessions that I first came across the "To my shame" technique...You can get away with any admission, however appalling, so long as it's preceded by the words "to my shame." ...The self-accusatory prefix robs the listener of the right to disapprove... SANS "TO MY SHAME." I used to exploit women because I couldn't cope with being alone... CORRECT RESPONSE. He didn't say "to my shame!" You bastard! You viscious selfish bastard. It's like "Simon Says" for junkies.””
About This Quote
This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.
The speaker describes using a manipulative phrase to preempt criticism, allowing harmful behavior to go unchecked.
In simple terms: Using a guilt phrase lets people excuse bad actions.
Avoid using language that shields wrongdoing.
Themes
Mood
Type
When to use this quote
- personal relationships
- therapy sessions
- self‑reflection
- conflict resolution
Key Concepts
Questions to Reflect On
- How does language shape accountability?
- When is it acceptable to pre‑empt criticism?
The technique can backfire, eroding trust and encouraging further abuse.