I can't take his genius any more.

I can't get divorced because I'm a Catholic. Catholics don't get divorced. They stay together through anger and hatred and festering misery, just like…

— Lenny Clarke

I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.

— Woody Allen

Its easier to get a divorce than pass the driving test. Now its just a basic form-filling exercise.

— Paul Coleridge

There are four stages to marriage. First there's the affair, then there's the marriage, then children, and finally the fourth stage, without which you…

— Norman Mailer

The happiest time of anyone's life is just after the first divorce.

— John Kenneth Galbraith

What happened? Satan was busy?

— Sam Kinison

Marriage isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Let me tell you, honestly. Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce.

— Larry Gelbart

Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce.

— Larry Gelbart

My husband taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.

— Zsa Zsa Gabor

In our family we don't divorce our men - we bury them.

— Ruth Gordon

You know, Elizabeth Taylor must be in Heaven going, 'Alright, fire two honey!'

— Dana Carvey

Divorce sucks. Let me tell you, after five years of marriage, it is devastating to have the person with the good credit move out.

— Rich Vos

Workaholicism is such a tough addiction to get over. I had to divorce my wife because she was an enabler.

— Dave Mordal

Half of all marriages end in divorce- and then there are the really unhappy ones.

— Joan Rivers

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

— Tommy Manville