Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, they make bad movie…

Arnold Schwarzenegger looks like a brown condom full of walnuts.

— Clive James

How would Elvira run the state of California? Well, there isn't much I could do that is worse than what Arnold Schwarzenegger has done.…

— Cassandra Peterson

My dream would be to play the villain in a James Bond movie, or opposite Arnold Schwarzenegger. I like everything exaggerated.

— Udo Kier

I recently read that Arnold Schwarzenegger collects Hummers. Now we know why Maria's face is frozen in that puckered position.

— Brad Wilkerson

I'd like to talk to Arnold Schwarzenegger, 'cause I live in California and I just want to see that canned, chemical filled body in…

— Henry Rollins

Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor. He's got a great slogan - 'Vote for me, or I'll make 'Kindergarten Cop II

— Craig Kilborn

There's no one in the world close to Arnold Schwarzenegger. He is a phenomenon. He's brilliant.

— Sylvester Stallone

Arnold Schwarzenegger blew away dozens of cops as the Terminator. But I don't hear anybody complaining about that.

— Ice T

Arnold Schwarzenegger made his tax returns public, [and] now there's a problem about him stretching the truth. Apparently under occupation he put down 'actor.'

— Jay Leno

Their steaks are often good, but the lobsters-with claws the size of Arnold Schwarzenegger's forearms-are as glazed and tough as most of the customers.

— Malcolm S Forbes

Arnold Schwarzenegger is in trouble after tapes surfaced of him saying negative things about other Republicans. Actually the Schwarzenegger tapes surfaced last year, but…

— Conan O'Brien

Simon had drawn three pictures. In the top left corner, like a salutation, was a ghost. The middle had a big sketch of Arnold…

— Kelley Armstrong

There's no one in the world close to Arnold Schwarzenegger. He is a phenomenon. He's brilliant. Just because his physique belies that, don't underestimate…

— Sylvester Stallone

People here in Los Angeles are disgusted now about a sex scandal involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently for seven years, he carried on a sexual…

— Craig Kilborn

What's it like being opposite Arnold Schwarzenegger? For me? Are you kidding? Maybe if I'm lucky, come up to his navel!

— Linda Hunt