The first move was to hook her attention. “I’ll tell you…
““The first move was to hook her attention. “I’ll tell you something about yourself that other people probably don’t know,” I began. “People sometimes see you as shy or bitchy offstage, even though you aren’t.” “Totally,” she said. “Do you want to know why?” “Yeah.” I was creating what’s called a yes-ladder, capturing her attention by asking questions that require an obvious affirmative answer. “I’m watching your eyes when you talk. And every time you think, they go down and to the left. That means you’re a kinesthetic person. You’re someone who lives in her feelings.” “Oh my God,” she said. “That’s totally true.” Of course it was. It was one of the value-demonstrating routines I’d developed. The eye goes to one of seven different positions when someone thinks: Each position means the person is accessing a different part of their brain. As I taught her how to read different types of eye movements, she clung to every word. Her legs uncrossed and she leaned in toward me. The game was on. “I””
About This Quote
This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.
The speaker uses a technique of giving a personal insight to capture attention and build rapport, then deepens engagement by observing subtle cues like eye movement to infer personality traits.
In simple terms: Hook attention with personal insight, then use subtle cues to deepen connection.
Key Takeaway
Use observation and affirmation to build rapport.
Themes
communication
psychology
influence
Mood
curious
strategic
Type
instructional
conversational
When to use this quote
- sales pitch
- dating coaching
- interview technique
- public speaking
Key Concepts
rapport building
nonverbal cues
personality assessment
Questions to Reflect On
- How can you verify the accuracy of such cues?
- What ethical limits exist in using personal insights?
A Different Perspective
Reliance on unverified body language can mislead.