My stepdad makes me laugh constantly reading things out…

The universe is simmering down, like a giant stew left to cook for four billion years. Sooner or later we won’t be able to…

— Arthur Bloch

If you were to draw Bugs, the easiest way is to learn how to draw a carrot and then hook a rabbit onto it

— Chuck Jones

There comes a point where you see no evidence that the carrot and diplomacy are working.

— John F. Kennedy

I think they named the orange before the carrot.

— Demetri Martin

If you've got a plot the size of a car or a tiny yard in Italy, you're going to be growing tomatoes and basil…

— Frances Mayes

I usually eat four or five raw carrots with my meat, and that is all. I must be part rabbit; I never get bored…

— Marilyn Monroe

When your Super Bowl guests arrive, they should find a mound of potato chips large enough to conceal a pony sitting in front of…

— Dave Barry

For four to six months at a time, I would barely eat. I lived on a diet of Melba toast, carrots, and black coffee.

— Alanis Morissette

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.

— Mae West

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.

— Mae West

“Did Anton try the carrots?” “I believe so. Flavio seems happier, at least on that count, and I have noticed now that Anton shudders…

— James Austen

Look, I don’t care what the Ooga-Boogas do. It sounds like they need a family counselor, not a sniper. (Steele) They’re not Ooga-Boogas, they’re…

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

I was in Las Vegas when the Nogueira brothers first touched down in America. There was a bus, this is a true story. There…

— Chael Sonnen

“If I had an orange penis, and an erection, I might take offense at carrot eaters. Baby carrots.”

— Jarod Kintz

Carrots might be good for my eyes, but they won't straighten out the curveball.

— Carl Furillo