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He could handle his former lover under his roof for a…

“He could handle his former lover under his roof for a couple of days. No sweat, right? But when Trevor’s eyes caught Edgard’s, the punch of lust whomped him as sharply as a hoof to the belly, making him just as breathless. Dammit, don’t look at me that way, Ed. Please. Edgard banked the hunger in…” quote by Lorelei James
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““He could handle his former lover under his roof for a couple of days. No sweat, right? But when Trevor’s eyes caught Edgard’s, the punch of lust whomped him as sharply as a hoof to the belly, making him just as breathless. Dammit, don’t look at me that way, Ed. Please. Edgard banked the hunger in those topaz-colored eyes and Trevor silently breathed a sigh of relief. The blank stare was a reaction they’d both mastered during the years they’d spent together on the road. If sponsors, promoters or fans caught wind of his and Edgard’s nocturnal proclivities they would’ve been blackballed. Or would’ve been beat to shit on a regular basis if the other rodeo cowboys suspected he and Edgard weren’t merely traveling partners. There’d been no choice but to become discreet. Nothing discreet about the way Edgard had eyeballed him. “Trev, hon, you comin’?” “Go on. I’ll be right in after I take care of this motor.” He retreated to the barn, needing to find his balance after being knocked sideways. Edgard was here. Trevor’s gut clenched remembering the last time he’d seen the man. Remembering the misery on Edgard’s face, knowing his face reflected the same desolation when they’d said goodbye three and a half years ago. Crippled by pain, fear, and loss, Trevor hadn’t had the balls to wrap Edgard in his arms one last time. He’d snapped off some dumbass comment and done nothing but sit on his ass in the horse trailer like a lump of moldy shit and watched him go. No. Let him go. He’d gotten drunk that night. And every night after for damn near six months. He’d f**ked every woman who’d crossed his path. Sex and booze did nothing to chase away the sense he’d made a huge mistake. Or on the really bad nights, his all-too smug relief that he’d never really felt “that way” about Edgard and he was glad the too-tempting bastard was gone for good.””

Lorelei James

About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

A man struggles with hidden desire and fear of being exposed in a secretive, risky relationship, leading to self‑destructive behavior.

In simple terms: He hides love and pain, turning to excess.

Key Takeaway

Confront hidden truth, seek healthier coping.

Themes

love secrecy self‑destruction identity fear

Mood

conflicted lonely tense

Type

narrative emotional dramatic

When to use this quote

  • cowboy life
  • nighttime encounters
  • alcohol abuse
  • relationship tension
  • public image

Key Concepts

desire guilt masculinity loneliness repression

Questions to Reflect On

  • What would change if he revealed his feelings?
  • How can he break the cycle of self‑destruction?
A Different Perspective

Denial and shame prevent honest communication, worsening harm.

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