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As if etiquette weren’t magnificently capable of being…

“As if etiquette weren’t magnificently capable of being used to make others feel uncomfortable. All right. Miss Manners will give you an example, although you are spoiling her Queen Victoria mood: If you are rude to your ex-husband’s new wife at your daughter’s wedding, you will make her feel smug…” quote by Judith Martin
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““As if etiquette weren’t magnificently capable of being used to make others feel uncomfortable. All right. Miss Manners will give you an example, although you are spoiling her Queen Victoria mood: If you are rude to your ex-husband’s new wife at your daughter’s wedding, you will make her feel smug. Comfortable. If you are charming and polite, you will make her feel uncomfortable. Which do you want to do? On””

Judith Martin

About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Etiquette can be wielded to make others feel either comfortable or uneasy, depending on the speaker’s intent.

In simple terms: Politeness can be used to comfort or discomfort others.

Key Takeaway

Choose kindness over manipulation.

Themes

etiquette power social behavior

Mood

thoughtful critical

Type

advice philosophical

When to use this quote

  • family events
  • workplace
  • public speaking

Key Concepts

intentionality emotional intelligence

Questions to Reflect On

  • When does politeness become a tool of control?
  • How can you use etiquette to genuinely uplift others?
A Different Perspective

Manipulative etiquette can damage relationships.

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