Life is a beautiful thing. Plant it in the ground, and it…

“There's more to life than regurgitating other people's sentiments--lest that is one's career.”

— Gasmaskman

“Golden Arches' are the gateway to the afterlife.”

— Gasmaskman

“It's best to locate the mind first before launching the 'missiles of contention'.”

— Gasmaskman

“A woman's apathy is far more devastating than her wrath.”

— Gasmaskman

“All life is in vain, for Death makes a nonsense of pain.”

— Gasmaskman

“Oh go get some dignity. I think it's in the aisle next to the Q-tips.”

— Gasmaskman

“I suppose belief is there to prevent people from thinking.”

— Gasmaskman

“It is important to correct bad behavior one toe at a time.”

— Gasmaskman

“It is easier to conduct business with giant cookies.”

— Gasmaskman

“A woman of class never admits to her artifices.”

— Gasmaskman

“Beauty is hardly a virtue, for the disease of insecurity lurks not too far behind its veneer.”

— Gasmaskman

“That present she left in the bathroom was special. It's not a funk, it's a biological weapon. The Pentagon should be taking notes.”

— Gasmaskman

“Don't worry about it; only worry about how people like her breed.”

— Gasmaskman

“Hope is the privilege of the weak.”

— Gasmaskman