If I had a reader and he had read all I have written so…
““If I had a reader and he had read all I have written so far of my adventures, there would be certainly no need to inform him that I am not created for any sort of society. The trouble is I don't know how to behave in company. If I go anywhere among a great many people I always have a feeling as though I were being electrified by so many eyes looking at me. It positively makes me shrivel up, physically shrivel up, even in such places as the theatre, to say nothing of private houses. I did not know how to behave with dignity in these gambling saloons and assemblies; I either was still, inwardly upbraiding myself for my excessive mildness and politeness, or I suddenly got up and did something rude. And meanwhile all sorts of worthless fellows far inferior to me knew how to behave with wonderful aplomb-- and that's what really exasperated me above everything, so that I lost my self-possession more and more. I may say frankly, even at that time, if the truth is to be told, the society there, and even winning money at cards, had become revolting and a torture to me. Positively a torture. I did, of course, derive acute enjoyment from it, but this enjoyment was at the cost of torture.””
About This Quote
This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.
Social anxiety stems from self‑consciousness and fear of judgment, causing inner conflict.
In simple terms: Fear of being watched paralyzes.
Key Takeaway
Practice self‑acceptance and gradual exposure.
Themes
anxiety
social discomfort
self‑consciousness
Mood
introspective
empathetic
Type
literary
psychological
When to use this quote
- public speaking
- networking
- dating
- new environments
Key Concepts
existentialism
psychology
Questions to Reflect On
- When do you feel most observed?
- What small step can reduce that feeling?
A Different Perspective
Overcoming anxiety may require professional help.