Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the…

By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of…

— Steve Rushin

Hockey belongs to the Cartoon Network, where a person can be pancaked by an ACME anvil, then expanded - accordion-style - back to full…

— Steve Rushin

We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don't even have to go to the hospital.

— Brad Park

A puck is a hard rubber disk that hockey players strike when they can't hit one another.

— Jimmy Cannon

Hockey captures the essence of Canadian experience in the New World. In a land so inescapably and inhospitably cold, hockey is the chance of…

— Stephen Leacock

How would you like a job where, if you made a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo?

— Jacques Plante

Hockey s a funny game. You have to prove yourself every shift, every game. It's not up to anybody else. You have to take…

— Paul Coffey

Half the game is mental, the other half is being mental.

— Jim McKenny

Street hockey is great for kids. It's energetic, competitive, and skilful. And best of all, it keeps them off the street.

— Gus Kyle

Hockey is a fast, body-contact game played by men with clubs in their hands and knives laced to their feet.

— Paul Gallico

Somewhere there's a score being kept, so you have an obligation to live life as well as you can, be as engaged as you…

— Bill Murray

I mean, the best thing for my knee, for anyone's knee, is to never play again and retire. But I'm not going to do…

— Steve Yzerman

I play a position where you make mistakes. The only people that don't make them at a hockey game are the people watching.

— Patrick Roy

Playing goal is like being shot at.

— Jacques Plante

The name on the front is a hell of a lot more important than the one on the back.

— Herb Brooks