Oh my sweet dick, it's magic. -Patches O Houlihan

Go on and make your jokes Mr… Jokie Joke-maker! -White Goodman

— Dodgeball

I have shareholders. You haven't even got... cupholders! -White Goodman

— Dodgeball

Nobody makes me bleed my own blood! Nobody! -White Goodman

— Dodgeball

Here at Globo Gym, WE'RE BETTER THAN YOU! And we know it! -White Goodman

— Dodgeball

If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball! -Patches O'Houlihan

— Dodgeball

Oh, hey, White. I didn't think Nazi camp got out until eight. Did you decide to skip arts and crafts? -Peter LaFleur

— Dodgeball

Steve's gotta go drain the sea monster. -Steve the Pirate

— Dodgeball

If you want dodgeball victory you gotta grab it by its haunches and h..h..hump it into submission, that's the only way. -Patches O Houlihan

— Dodgeball

Thank you, Chuck Norris. -Peter LaFleur

— Dodgeball

Your Gym is a skid-mark on the underpants of society. -White Goodman

— Dodgeball

Alright Kate, time to put your mouth where our balls are. -Peter LaFleur

— Dodgeball

Turn it up, Reggie, I wanna burn. -White Goodman

— Dodgeball

You had me at blood and semen. -Peter LaFleur

— Dodgeball

Let's not find ourselves shackled by the bonds of employer/employee relations. Unless of course you're into that sort of thing... in which case I…

— Dodgeball

I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never…

— Dodgeball