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When you ask someone to pass the salt, you are also giving…

“When you ask someone to pass the salt, you are also giving them an order; by attaching the word "please", you are saying that it is not an order. But, in fact, it is.” quote by David Graeber
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““When you ask someone to pass the salt, you are also giving them an order; by attaching the word "please", you are saying that it is not an order. But, in fact, it is.””

David Graeber

About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Politeness masks power dynamics; adding “please” softens an order but the underlying request remains.

In simple terms: Politeness hides the fact that requests are commands.

Key Takeaway

Recognize the power in everyday requests.

Themes

power language social norms

Mood

thoughtful analytical

Type

observational critical

When to use this quote

  • workplace
  • family gatherings
  • customer service
  • public speaking

Key Concepts

sociolinguistics politics etiquette

Questions to Reflect On

  • How does “please” affect compliance?
  • When do you feel a request is truly neutral?
A Different Perspective

Politeness can also be genuine, not just a mask.

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