Skip to content

Notice we said 'It sounds like . . .' and not 'I'm hearing…

“Notice we said 'It sounds like . . .' and not 'I'm hearing that . . .' That's because the word 'I' gets people's guard up. When you say 'I,' it says you're more interested in yourself than the other person, and it makes you take personal responsibility for the words that follow—and the offense…” quote by Chris Voss
Download Open image
““Notice we said 'It sounds like . . .' and not 'I'm hearing that . . .' That's because the word 'I' gets people's guard up. When you say 'I,' it says you're more interested in yourself than the other person, and it makes you take personal responsibility for the words that follow—and the offense they might cause.””

Chris Voss

About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Using “I” makes listeners defensive; avoiding it keeps focus on the issue, not the speaker.

In simple terms: Saying “I” can trigger defensiveness.

Key Takeaway

Use neutral language to stay objective.

Themes

negotiation psychology communication

Mood

thoughtful strategic

Type

advisory practical

When to use this quote

  • sales pitches
  • conflict resolution
  • team meetings
  • customer service

Key Concepts

self-reference defensiveness responsibility

Questions to Reflect On

  • When is personal pronoun appropriate?
  • How does tone affect outcomes?
A Different Perspective

Some contexts require personal accountability.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet

More by Chris Voss

Explore all 94 Chris Voss quotes

More Negotiation quotes

Browse all 1,728 Negotiation quotes