“Daisy was my beloved bulldog, who had some problems of her own—the main one being that she, too, was no longer alive.… — Stephen Osborne Daisy Copy Share Image
“several complaints that night, ranging from people thinking cats were fighting to one soul who thought that a neighbor was playing a… — Stephen Osborne Complaints Copy Share Image
“He hadn’t actually acted since his high school senior play (where he had famously skipped two whole pages of dialog and died… — Stephen Osborne High school Copy Share Image
“By standing and with me sitting, he was showing he was the dominant male in the room. I, however, had a .38… — Stephen Osborne Copy Share Image
“I at least got Carson calmed down a little. Interested, he asked, “Really? There are demons who do that? Fuck all the… — Stephen Osborne Copy Share Image
“I’d never thrown myself through a window before, but I knew what to do in theory. The answer is: don’t do it.” — Stephen Osborne Copy Share Image
“If you’ve harmed one hair on Nick’s head, I’m going to send you to hell so fast that Satan won’t have time… — Stephen Osborne Hell Copy Share Image
“There was a framed print on the wall of dogs playing poker. I wanted to smash it to preserve the dignity of… — Stephen Osborne Copy Share Image
“It’s my spider, Jeffrey. He’s a tarantula.” “Yes, he certainly seems to be.” “He’s my pet.” “Better you than me. I’m not… — Stephen Osborne Copy Share Image
“I smiled. “Nick, this is my dead boyfriend, Robbie. If you can’t see him, at least you’ll be able to see the… — Stephen Osborne Copy Share Image
“It’s just that… I’m wanting to start dating myself.” I saw Gina’s eyes bug out. “I don’t mean dating myself. I’ve been… — Stephen Osborne Copy Share Image
“Sounds good. What sort of fun did you have in mind?” I rubbed my nose against his. “It’s kind of like putting… — Stephen Osborne Christmas morning Copy Share Image
“My hand found its way back to her knee. I hoped it was to comfort her. I’d hate to think that my… — Stephen Osborne Copy Share Image
“The room was deathly quiet. Maybe because I was holding my breath. You know that feeling you get when you know you’re… — Stephen Osborne Copy Share Image
“There are good kissers and bad kissers. Good kisser: Tony. Sweet, passionate, and his lips make every nerve in your body stand… — Stephen Osborne Good kisser Copy Share Image
“Gina’s brow furrowed. “I’m a witch not fucking Harry Potter. You want miracles call the 700 Club.” — Stephen Osborne Witch Copy Share Image
“If I’m to be a ghost,” I told Caps, “I’m not haunting your aunt’s gloomy old place. I’d choose someplace livelier, more… — Stephen Osborne Copy Share Image
“DINNER went off without a hitch up until the part where people actually sat down at the table and began to eat.… — Stephen Osborne Dinner Copy Share Image
“I’d like to put that day off as long as possible. You saw the guy at dinner. He’s Satan without the horns.… — Stephen Osborne Hitler Copy Share Image
