Robin Mellom

“Men are scumbags until they prove they're women.”

— Robin Mellom

“Awesome. I was a jealous lunatic...and I wasn't alone. Touchdown!”

— Robin Mellom

“All I could think about was throwing something at her— something made of glass. Or spikes. Or a viral disease. They really…

— Robin Mellom

“The neck massage: signature move of a Professional Boyfriend.”

— Robin Mellom

“Kiss the scumbag!”

— Robin Mellom

“Guys don't know the power we hold over them with the right tint of lip gloss.”

— Robin Mellom