Maureen Johnson

I realize Jubilee is a bit of a stripper name. You probably think I have heard the call of the pole.

— Maureen Johnson

Once again, her parents' problems had run through her life like a piece of heavy equipment, smashing everything in their way.

— Maureen Johnson

English rain feels obligatory, like paperwork. It dampens already damn days and slicks the stones.

— Maureen Johnson

This pool is a triumph of imagination. That's how you win at life, Gin. You have to imagine your way through. Never…

— Maureen Johnson

“Many large corporations are actually modeled on hell,' Brother Frank added. 'The policies and organization are almost idential. Hell, of course, is…

— Maureen Johnson

Welsh is an actual, currently used language and our next-door neighbors Angela and Gaenor spoke it. It sounds like Wizard.

— Maureen Johnson

And if we get caught, I will claim I made you go. At gunpoint. I am American. People will assume I'm armed.

— Maureen Johnson

This is England," he explained. "Tell someone it's a procedure, and they'll believe you. The pointless procedure is one of our great…

— Maureen Johnson

Kissing is something that makes up for a lot of other crap you have to put up with...It can be confusing and…

— Maureen Johnson

She didn't even notice right away that a small animal had come out from behind a nearby car and was slowly making…

— Maureen Johnson

I dumped out the bag and found what had been inside was a bunched-up police uniform, complete with the vest. "Where did…

— Maureen Johnson

Just then, my phone started ringing. The ring must have been damaged by the water as well, so now it had a…

— Maureen Johnson

I don't know if there is actually more rain here in England, or if it was just that the rain seemed to…

— Maureen Johnson

“It was okay to give up. I'd been brave. Everyone would say so. And yet...even as I opened a dresser drawer and…

— Maureen Johnson

I looked at the stained-glass image of the lamb in the window above me, but that only reminded me that lambs are…

— Maureen Johnson

But we made our own fun, mostly. I recall a time, many years later, when American children seemed unable to amuse themselves…

— Maureen Johnson

I read two mysteries a day when I was a kid. All of Agatha Christie, all of 'Sherlock Holmes.' I've seen every…

— Maureen Johnson

I sleep better knowing that a naked cork-eater is not sneaking around at night, stealing my underwear.

— Maureen Johnson

What are you?" I asked. "I'm the Ghost of the Night Before Exams." "And how long did it take you to come…

— Maureen Johnson

I could pretend, at least, and if I pretended long enough, maybe I could make it into a reality.

— Maureen Johnson

The English play hockey in any weather. Thunder, lightning, plague of locusts... nothing can stop the hockey. Do not fight the hockey,…

— Maureen Johnson

Writing is one of the few careers for which you essentially train yourself, the other two major ones being juggling and pickpocketing.

— Maureen Johnson

Did you hear?" he asked. "They found another body around nine this morning. It's the Ripper, definitely." "Good morning," I replied. "Morning.…

— Maureen Johnson

“For you, there is underage, and then, there is underage. I believe a taste of wine is perfectly acceptable, but please stick…

— Maureen Johnson

Mouth guard. And I think we'll start you in goal." Goal sounded like a special job. I didn't want a special job,…

— Maureen Johnson

Boo: "Go talk to her." Callum: "About what?" Boo: "Anything." Callum: "You want me to walk up to her and say, 'Are…

— Maureen Johnson

Something about her suggested that her leisure activities included wrestling large woodland animals and banging bricks together.

— Maureen Johnson

Although it was very cold, he wore no coat. I think some English people think coats are for the weak.

— Maureen Johnson

“QUESTION EVERYTHING; STAND BACK, I’M GOING TO TRY SCIENCE!; I REJECT YOUR REALITY AND SUBSTITUTE MY OWN.”

— Maureen Johnson

“You want to go back to my house the long way?" he asked. "Or the shortcut? You have to be cold-" "Long…

— Maureen Johnson

“...but somehow when it's real, when it's your life... that person can feel even farther off and more unobtainable than an actual…

— Maureen Johnson

It was like the entire world was colluding to make me feel insane, and it was doing a really good job.

— Maureen Johnson

“(It was also helpful that the hotel’s owner tended to turn a blind eye to room sharing. A room filled with too…

— Maureen Johnson

It was as if the news itself wanted to reassure me. Even Jack the Ripper himself had reappeared as part of the…

— Maureen Johnson

Sometimes people graduate but they don't leave. They hang around for years, for no reason. I would think of ghosts like that,…

— Maureen Johnson

“If they bulge in the brain or anywhere else of interest, the wallet is a good alternate location. And I should know.”

— Maureen Johnson

Prefects. I had learned this one. Student council types, but with superpowers. They who must be obeyed.

— Maureen Johnson

“After that, I felt like I had two lives. There was the me I had been before the attack, the one people…

— Maureen Johnson

“Have some nice hot chocolate, something to eat, cuddle up under a blanket..." Under any other circumstances, I would have assumed that…

— Maureen Johnson

Stuart, who had just witnessed me go through an entire rainbow of emotions and experiences. There was parents-have-just-been-jailed me, stuck-in-a-strange-town me, insane-and-can't-shut-up…

— Maureen Johnson