Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like 'Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing. — Ian Shoales Amadeus Copy Share Image
Men want to put their signature at the bottom; women don't want to finish that letter. — Ian Shoales Copy Share Image
Americans will buy anything, as long as it doesn't cross the thin line between cute and demonic. — Ian Shoales Americans Copy Share Image
I know what love is: Tracy and Hepburn, Bogart and Bacall, Romeo and Juliet, Jackie and John and Marilyn... — Ian Shoales Copy Share Image
I don't like people who speak French in public places. This includes the French. — Ian Shoales Copy Share Image
Everybody's excited about the new service economy, even though there is no actual service as near as I can tell. — Ian Shoales Economy Copy Share Image
Sigmund Freud was a half baked Viennese quack. Our literature, culture, and the films of Woody Allen would be better today if… — Ian Shoales Culture Copy Share Image
Never ask a woman why she's angry at you. She will either get angrier at you for not knowing, or she'll tell… — Ian Shoales Anger Copy Share Image
They don't produce anything. All they do is guide you through the labyrinth of the legal system that they created - and… — Ian Shoales Copy Share Image
The word relationship best refers to the connection between parasite and host, or shark and remora. It's a biological term. I'd rather… — Ian Shoales Connections Copy Share Image
Advice to rock gods: drugwise, stick to Ibuprofen, decaf lattes, and pale Pilsners ... If your stomach is not a flat slab,… — Ian Shoales Advice Copy Share Image
“ It's a ridiculous profession and it's getting worse. It's becoming almost like palm reading or phrenology. It's been relegated to pop… — Ian Shoales Middle class Copy Share Image
I read a column by George Will that SCARFACE should be rated X because parents were taking their children to see it.… — Ian Shoales Copy Share Image
L.A.: where there's never weather, and walking is a crime. L.A.: where the streetlights and palm trees go on forever, where darkness… — Ian Shoales Angel Copy Share Image
