Chris Cannon

“Would it help if I performed an interpretive dance while I said the words?”

— Chris Cannon

Nothing relieves stress like setting things on fire.

— Chris Cannon

Our men and women in uniform deserve the best intelligence possible to help them protect America.

— Chris Cannon

“I threatened him with bodily harm. He promised to bring me cake for the rest of my life.”

— Chris Cannon

“Jaxon gave me a compliment. I was sure there’d be winged pigs up there somewhere.”

— Chris Cannon

“all the teachers at this school attack their students? Or are you just a raving bitch?”

— Chris Cannon

For over 30 years the Endangered Species Act has suffered from many fundamental flaws, the most notable being a blatant disregard for…

— Chris Cannon

“Sad, but true. Maybe I’ll spill something on him in Foods class, or accidentally stab him with a knife.” And I might…

— Chris Cannon

“My mom was a phlebotomist who drove all over creation drawing people’s blood. Sort of a transient medical vampire.”

— Chris Cannon

The American people are not anti-immigrant. We are concerned about the lack of coherence in our immigration policy and enforcement.

— Chris Cannon

Many of our nation's great leaders began their careers at a service academy. I encourage anyone interested in a rewarding college experience…

— Chris Cannon

“Ferrin looked at her like she had two heads. “You don’t want to marry my son?” “Hell. No.” He resumed his seat.…

— Chris Cannon

“My mom says no guy is perfect, you just have to find one that makes you happy seventy percent of the time.”…

— Chris Cannon

Americans are rightly concerned about the security and the integrity of the nation's borders because the system is broken. Some are concerned…

— Chris Cannon

You know, if we're going to bring down the price of gas, you have to have three things. You have to have…

— Chris Cannon

Our nation's immigration policy has been of top concern in recent years, and for good reason. With between eight and twelve million…

— Chris Cannon

So this judge in Virginia rules that a lesbian wasn't fit to raise her own daughter because she might grow up to…

— Chris Cannon

“Dating someone you worked with had bad idea written all over it, but Todd, who was a few years older than me…

— Chris Cannon

If you compare the size of our reserves of Saudi Arabia and the whole Middle East, it's like three times as much…

— Chris Cannon

The Internet has exceeded our collective expectations as a revolutionary spring of information, news, and ideas. It is essential that we keep…

— Chris Cannon

“He pointed at my tiara. “Why are you wearing a crown?” I adjusted my freshly bedazzled head gear. “It’s a tiara and…

— Chris Cannon

“I took care of the next guy in line while I checked out the girl who was boxing up a pecan pie…

— Chris Cannon

“Where’s the pizza?” Something warm and furry came and leaned against my right leg. I reached down to pet Rocky, a black…

— Chris Cannon

“Nice to meet you.” “Just so you know, those shotguns are real.” My grandmother pointed to the back wall where the weapons…

— Chris Cannon