Nobody ever forgets their first night in the bush. It's among the precious, meagre handful of life firsts that remain indelible. — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
I'm too vain to go on TV. I'd be a monster of self-consciousness. Plus, I've got a ridiculous voice - I sound… — A. A. Gill Friend Copy Share Image
A lot of London's image never was. There never was a Dickensian London, or a Shakespearean London, or a swinging London. — A. A. Gill Image Copy Share Image
Boredom is not a thing. It's not a feeling or a condition. It is the absence of feelings, things and conditions. — A. A. Gill Absence Copy Share Image
We like to see death as an unfair conspiracy, and what we want is a magic practitioner, a combination of Dr Watson… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
In fact, everybody should wake up smelling nice. I go further, there is not an excuse, ever, not to smell nice, particularly… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
Every man imagines that he will turn his suit like a double agent, that it can be twisted to his will with… — A. A. Gill Comedy Copy Share Image
The Lib-Dems are sidekicks. They were born to be sidekicks and that's what they should concentrate on being. — A. A. Gill Being Copy Share Image
People who know there is a god and people who know there isn't live in exactly the same world. Same number of… — A. A. Gill Children Copy Share Image
Have you noticed that almost all the change in the world goes to women? When was the last time you had a… — A. A. Gill Change Copy Share Image
I'm frightened of my innate vanity. I mean: the suits lined with scarves? Even I know the warning signs. I could quite… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
Celebrity is a national drama whose characters' parts and plots are written by the tabloids, gossip columnists, websites and interactive buttons. The… — A. A. Gill America Copy Share Image
Cowboy boots you can't wear unless you actually are a cowboy or in a Status Quo tribute band, or over 60; there's… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
Penicillin and plastic bags help a lot, fridges and hot water make manliness more comfortable and Tom Ford's fragrance range makes it… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
Really, I like the future. I appreciate my automatic alarm-call necklace in case I get lost and confused in a mall. I… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
Money has to be an explosion of excitement and opportunity, yet we already secretly know that it doesn't do what it promises.… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
A broadsheet obituarist once pointed out to me that veteran soldiers die by rank. First to go are the generals, admirals and… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
A country scratching a lazy irritation at sagging doorjambs and late trains, whose greatest attribute is a collective, smelly tolerance, where a… — A. A. Gill Aspiration Copy Share Image
Once upon a time, a historian told me that the most important choice a new historian could make was of his or… — A. A. Gill Choices Copy Share Image
I walk up a dune to a beach and look out to sea, but it's 100km away. The ships lie askew in… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
Television is a constant stream of fact, opinions, lies, moral dilemmas, plots: an infinitely complex and sophisticated torrent of information. How could… — A. A. Gill Book Copy Share Image
Making a programme that appears to condone a positive stereotype actually enforces all the negative ones as well. It says that they… — A. A. Gill Arrogant Copy Share Image
I don't know if English is the only language where some expressions only and solely mean the opposite of what they say… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
I don't remember ever stealing things, but I suppose I was endlessly borrowing money off people. — A. A. Gill Borrowing money Copy Share Image
The French are never happy coming to London; this is an ancient and comforting enmity. — A. A. Gill Ancient Copy Share Image
Science fiction is never about the future, in the same way history is rarely about the past: they're both parable formats for… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
Personal adornment is the only cultural form that everybody in the world takes part in. — A. A. Gill Adornment Copy Share Image
It is impossible to be taken seriously in shorts. No one has ever cared about anything said by a man in shorts. — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
A cravat has to be approached with consummate self-confidence and a devilish nonchalance. A cravat has to be grasped by a man… — A. A. Gill Confidence Copy Share Image
Americans think the only funny Brits are John Cleese, Benny Hill and whoever makes our toothpaste. They're not laughing with us, they… — A. A. Gill Americans Copy Share Image
The suit is the polite taming, the socialising, the neutering, of riding and military kit. Those pointless buttons on the cuff were… — A. A. Gill Fashion Copy Share Image
Women's handbags are incredibly heavy. You rarely get to pick one up and, when you do, you wonder why anyone carries so… — A. A. Gill Day Copy Share Image
You see, the problem with Dave Cameron is that people know who he is. The less people know about him, the more… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
He (Jeremy Clarkson) is the last man standing on the beach commanding the glaciers' melt waters to go back — A. A. Gill Beach Copy Share Image
I still secretly believe that afternoons are the time for the test card and you shouldn't watch television when the sun is… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
Mourning the loss of the phone call is like pining for buggy driving or women in hats or three-martini lunches. They've gone. — A. A. Gill Death Copy Share Image
Nature gave you your look and there's only a limited amount you can do about that, but what you wear is the… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
Texting isn't writing. It's not like letter writing. Texting is short scriptwriting. It's a collaborative soap opera where nothing happens. — A. A. Gill Letter writing Copy Share Image
The truth is a mayor can actually do very little to alter the course of a huge city run by the free… — A. A. Gill Capitalism Copy Share Image
For men, privacy means not being told stuff that would hurt. For women, secrecy is having stuff go on behind your back. — A. A. Gill Cybersecurity Copy Share Image
