Contrary to what many of you may imagine, a career in letters is not without its drawbacks - chief among them the… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
I have the exact opposite problem of every writer I've ever met: Every writer I've ever met writes things that are too… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
When I'm supposed to be writing I clean my apartment, take my clothes to the laundry, get organized, make lists, do the… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
When I was a kid, the people of my generation didn't want to be writers, they wanted to be rock stars. Rock… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
All the time I'm not writing I feel like a criminal. It's horrible to feel felonious every second of the day. It's… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
Whenever I am doing anything else, which is most of the time, even if it is not something like robbing a bank,… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
If, while watching the sun set on a used-car lot in Los Angeles, you are struck by the parallels between this image… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
I used to love to write. As a child I used to write all the time. I loved to write up until… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
When I started publishing, I got offers to write for big magazines. But I would always say, "Well, it's not that I… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
Why not have your first baby at sixty, when your husband is already dead and your career is over? Then you can really devote… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
I think humor is warmer, and wit is colder. Wit is judgment, whereas humor invites some sort of response. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
Communists all seem to wear small caps, a look I consider better suited to tubes of toothpaste than to people. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
“lack, or loutish and crass kollective is a program dedicated to the proposition that vulgarity and bad taste are an inalienable right. the lackies,… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
[Friendships] are easy to get out of compared to love affairs, but they are not easy to get out of compared to, say, jail. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
When it comes to sports I am not particularly interested. Generally speaking, I look upon them as dangerous and tiring activities performed by people… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
The first time I ever saw platform shoes in the '70s, I knew they'd been revived from the '40s, and I felt sickened. And… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
Children ask better questions than adults. "May I have a cookie?" "Why is the sky blue?" and "What does a cow say?" are far… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
I do not think everyone is created equal. In fact, I know they're not. [The Constitution] means that everyone should have the same laws… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
When I fly, I'm never afraid the plane is going to crash. But there have often been times when I was afraid it wouldn't… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share
Smoking is, if not my life, then at least my hobby. I love to smoke. Smoking is fun. Smoking is cool. Smoking is, as… — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share