I wish black people had a flag they could put into the ground, like when the troops stormed Iwo Jima. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
People love things about Hollywood. People love to see the inside of what's going on. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
Mel Gibson is losing it. I don't know how people still supporting this dude's movies like it's all good. That dude is… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
You don't want to take the world over with a whole hamper full of dirty clothes. That's the main thing people overlook.… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I have my website, The Ruckus, which is an Internet site, similar to the Funny or Die format, where people post funny… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I tell people all the time, as I was going through my process of being a comedian or being an actor and… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I am addicted to hockey now. I've seen it on TV, but to be there? I had no idea that white people… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I'm, like, everybody's friend. I'm one of those dudes. I can be friends with anybody. Any race of person, any personality, I… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I could never live with you; not 'cause I'm racist or nothing. It's just 'cause as a black man in America, I… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
Comedians are therapists. People honestly think we're doing it for ourselves. No. If we wanted to do stand-up for ourselves, we would… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
When you're on stage performing stand-up, things only happen one time. I've done bits where I improv a joke, and people are… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
Sometimes you can make friends, and sometimes you can take friends. Sometimes people want to be friends with you, and you gotta… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
Improv relies just as much on listening as it does you delivering dialogue. That's the hard for some people. Some people just… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
There's book smart, there is street smart, there's relationship smart, there's too many different kinds of smarts to know all of them.… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I'm sure back in the Greek days or the Roman Empire days, when guys fought in arenas and were fighting lions, people… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
Keep it real by being straight forward. Don't pull no punches on people. It's better to tell somebody than just lollygag around,… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
You know what I like? I like classic stuff. I like 'The Andy Griffith Show' - the variety of characters was so amazing to… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
You have to fail, man, but you cannot allow failure to stop you from doing what you must do. Failing is just as good… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
If a director brings a guy to their movie who does improv, they've got to let him do what he does - otherwise it's… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
Improv relies just as much on listening as it does you delivering dialogue. That's the hard for some people. Some people just concentrate on… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing. I power wash everything: my wife, the mailman with the f-cking mail, power… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
I believe, even when I'm doing my standup or my acting or whatever I'm doing, I believe in painting pictures. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
I should be European, man. I'm long and lean. I'd look good in a trench coat. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
Man, you can come see me six or seven times in a row and you'll never see the same show twice, because I don't… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
I've done everything. Selling door-to-door fire extinguishers... In bars, I used to repair those machines that have 10 different buttons on them to spray… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
I'm nice with damn kids, man. Kids love me. I can bounce back and forth. I can discipline kids and I can get into… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
You want your lady to be a contortionist. What man wouldn't want a lady who's a contortionist? — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
It's great when a director like Cameron Crowe can take what you do and fit it into what he's doing. If someone's a fan… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
I live in New York right now but I'm originally from my daddy's nuts. We all are. Think about, we the lucky ones -… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
I think what I do in my acting world and what I do in my standup world is bring up a brand that I… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
