I am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh. — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
The problem with the world is there's too many stupid people and nobody to eat them. — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
I'm glad Hurricane Katrina happened. It taught us an important lesson: black people can't swim. — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
The beauty of comedy is, when people come to a comedy club, there is a certain veil of reality suspended. — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
I get really nervous at auditions. I know how to make people laugh, but auditions just really make me nervous. — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
For me, it's always better to tell people the truth, because people can accept the truth. — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people. — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
Just because my name is Carlos Mencia, don't think my show is going to be about the difference between Mexicans and white… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
I was born in Honduras, and everything there is really chill, and people don't worry about having to get something overnighted by… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
When a black person has no electricity, no water, they call it the ghetto. When white people have no electricity and no… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
I was never funny. I'd be funny once a year at Christmas. I'd do impressions of how people talked and danced, but… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
When white people eat potato chips, they're called white people. When black people eat potato chips, they're called niggas. — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
I'm the only person on Earth who's not afraid to admit that black people are better dancers than white people! I said… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
I'll admit it, the Holocaust was definitely a bad thing, but do we really need Jewish people around? They have big noses.… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
I like to look in the crevices of things, the nooks and the crannies. I like to see the things other people… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
I am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh. I… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
Great soul of Gandhi, cover your ears. You will not want to hear this! Listen, you inbred piece of Ku Klux Krap!… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
If I were to say that I grew up in East Los Angeles in the projects, poor, I assumed that everybody understood… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
People want to complain... my point especially when it comes to racial humor is... we have that diversity, so I don't look… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
If I were to say that I grew up in East Los Angeles in the projects poor, I assumed that everybody understood… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
Listen, here's my questions to anybody when they talk about comedy. When you are with your friends who don't judge you, what… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
Everything I do is intended to make people laugh and think. I just think something is funny, it's not hurting anybody, not… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
I was born in Honduras, that's where I was born. I live in California, where no matter what you say, you're Mexican.… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
People that love me, love me. But the people that hate me really hate me. — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
I'm like most people in America. I'm conservative on some things, and I'm liberal on other things. — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
When I'm performing for 4,000, 5,000 people, it's a show. It's a rock n' roll concert. — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
Dee Dee Dee dosen't mean mentally retarded. It means stupid. This song goes out to all the stupid people out there. Your… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
If the worst thing happening to Middle Eastern people is that Carlos Mencia is doing a joke about them being stopped at… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
When white people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're homeless, when black people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're called… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
I don't think I push boundaries. I find that other people feel that way. To me, it's just about going up there… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
My choices are made out of love. When I go on stage now, I want to make people happy. I mean, when… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
Some people want to live in a world much prettier than the one I depict. But it exists, and I talk about… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
People live in a place called Tornado Alley - and they're surprised when they get hit by a tornado. I'm sorry when… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
Here's the problem: People have completely and utterly forgotten one thing when it comes to communication - intent. — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
My brain is very simple. Like when you break everything down. I see things in a simple way. And that simplicity for… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
If you're Filipino, you're the beaner of the Asian community 'cause you're just like us. You're indigenous people that got banged by… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
I was never one of those fat-victim people. I always have to address how much weight I lost, and people always realize… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
I don't have the time to steal other people's material even if I wanted to. The reason why these rumors got started… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
Nobody calls me a racist when I do redneck jokes. Jeff Foxworthy can do as many 'You might be a redneck jokes' as he… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share
I am frail like everyone else, and I take that into account when I talk about things. — Carlos Mencia Copy Share
People live in a place called Tornado Alley - and they're surprised when they get hit by a tornado. I'm sorry when they get… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share
When I was younger, I was angry. I was boisterous and loud. I was on top of the mountain, screaming at everybody, 'Look at… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share
When you are younger, you pretend to believe, but you are proving it to everyone and to yourself. The change comes when you know… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share
Here's what I know about the business I am in. It's all based on money. It's all based on ratings. — Carlos Mencia Copy Share
I've gotten in trouble with every race you can imagine. They say, 'I can't believe you talked about this - you're racist.' And I… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share
My choices are made out of love. When I go on stage now, I want to make people happy. I mean, when I get… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share
My comedy is about, lift yourself. See reality. Change the reality if you don't like it. But if you can't, then deal with things… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share
I can't imagine how unbelievable it would be to go to the Great Barrier Reef. — Carlos Mencia Copy Share
The beauty of not growing up middle class is that you don't think like the middle class. You don't have anything to protect, you… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share
I'm a spiritual person: I believe that if you read the Bible, you get what you want from it. But, when you actually read… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share
At the end of the day, I don't think I am going to be judged by what happened in the 90's and 2000's, at… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share
