I'm not intentionally dirty. It just kind of happens. It's not like I'm a shock comic who's looking to walk people. — Ari Shaffir Copy Share Image
Get out of people's way and let them be who they are. If they make a mistake, fine, that's on them. — Ari Shaffir Copy Share Image
When people tell me to do a clean show, I'm like, 'Guys, I don't even understand your thoughts anymore.' What, you can't… — Ari Shaffir Copy Share Image
At The Comedy Store, night after night, the crowds are fuller. It used to be Tuesday at 9 you'd have to start… — Ari Shaffir Copy Share Image
Bill Burr, Freddy Soto, Joe Rogan, Tom Segura... those people influenced me a lot more than any of the older guys like… — Ari Shaffir Copy Share Image
Very rarely are you going to see a story about a comic winning a fight. Yeah we're all degenerates in some way… — Ari Shaffir Copy Share Image
I'm a bit of an introvert, so after talking for an hour and then shaking hands and taking pictures with the people… — Ari Shaffir Copy Share Image
Marc Maron yells at people. I have a memory of him yelling at Jonah Ray from offstage about something he was saying,… — Ari Shaffir Copy Share Image
That anonymity that comes with talking in front of a crowd of people you've never met allows you to reveal anything, because… — Ari Shaffir Copy Share Image
Sometimes I start off shows by explaining to people that it's just a bunch of stories - I always say 'It's like… — Ari Shaffir Copy Share Image
Early on, I had a girlfriend come see me, and she was like, 'Yeah, it was good, but you were funny at… — Ari Shaffir Copy Share Image
The biggest thing I lost when I left religion was that sense of community and the culture. It was an unexpected kind of free-falling.… — Ari Shaffir Copy Share
Early on, I had a girlfriend come see me, and she was like, 'Yeah, it was good, but you were funny at a dining… — Ari Shaffir Copy Share
I don't vote and I don't follow who's trying to rule us. The revolution is coming. Until then, I'll just watch 'Game of Thrones.' — Ari Shaffir Copy Share
I worked for the Comedy Store as an employee trying to become a paid regular. I had this dream of achieving a half hour… — Ari Shaffir Copy Share
Very rarely are you going to see a story about a comic winning a fight. Yeah we're all degenerates in some way and we're… — Ari Shaffir Copy Share
I have a running daydream about winning an Oscar and giving my speech about how ridiculous it is to rank art. And then I'd… — Ari Shaffir Copy Share
I'm just a weird mix of immature and intelligent and I like to share my point of view and who I am. — Ari Shaffir Copy Share
If I focus solely on developing new material, then I can get a new 45 minute to an hour in about six months. Then… — Ari Shaffir Copy Share
