Men Quotes by Evan Esar

All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.

— Evan Esar

A home in the country is what a city man hopes to buy and a farmer hopes to sell.

— Evan Esar

A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.

— Evan Esar

Only one man has the right to boast, and that's the man who never does.

— Evan Esar

A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.

— Evan Esar

Many a man works himself to death by burying himself in his work.

— Evan Esar

A lazy man's wife is generally the power behind the drone.

— Evan Esar

A bacteriologist is a man whose conversation always start with the germ of an idea.

— Evan Esar

Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment; and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.

— Evan Esar

It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.

— Evan Esar

A man doesn't have vacation problems: his boss tells him when to take them, and his wife tells him where.

— Evan Esar

Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all…

— Evan Esar

Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except…

— Evan Esar

The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.

— Evan Esar

Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery; nowadays it is called moonlighting.

— Evan Esar

The difference between two men is usually a woman.

— Evan Esar

The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.

— Evan Esar

The reason why men who mind their own business succeed is that they have so little competition.

— Evan Esar

Many a wedding takes place when a man can't afford to go steady with a girl any longer.

— Evan Esar

There is a lot of difference between the man who is not able and his brother who is notable.

— Evan Esar

The survival of the fittest is going to make some man very lonesome some day.

— Evan Esar

Some men are so eager for success that they are even willing to work for it.

— Evan Esar

Many people will laugh at the drop of a hat, especially if the man is still in it.

— Evan Esar

An actor is a man with an infinite capacity for taking praise.

— Evan Esar

All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.

— Evan Esar

The man who avoids debt doesn't have to worry about avoiding his creditors.

— Evan Esar

The three chief causes of divorce are men, women, and marriage.

— Evan Esar

The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.

— Evan Esar

The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.

— Evan Esar

Some men take good care of a car; others treat it like one of the family.

— Evan Esar

Age brings wisdom to some men, and to others chess.

— Evan Esar

A man is known by the company he keeps, but a woman is known by the company she keeps waiting.

— Evan Esar

You can tell a man's taste in literature by his judgment in knowing what not to read.

— Evan Esar

The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing.

— Evan Esar

A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.

— Evan Esar

Next time a man tells you talk is cheap, ask him if he knows how much a session of Congress costs.

— Evan Esar