Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you don't know how to pronounce a word, say it loudly. Do not compound mispronunciation with inaudibility — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
... the English alphabet is pure insanity..., It can hardly spell any word in the language with any degree of certainty. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I can understand German as well as the maniac that invented it, but I talk it best through an interpreter. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
[On Dutch flat poetry]: It is too smooth and blubbery; it reads like butter-milk gurgling from a jug. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“It is strong language, but true. None of us could _live_ with an habitual truthteller; but thank goodness none of us has… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The Germans are exceedingly fond of Rhine wines; they are put up in tall, slender bottles, and are considered a pleasant beverage.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I would not rob you of your food or your clothes or your umbrella, but if I caught your German out I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Occasionally, merely for the pleasure of being cruel, we put unoffending Frenchmen on the rack with questions framed in the incomprehensible jargon… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It's awful undermining to the intellect, German is; you want to take it in small doses, or first you know your brains… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I don't speak German well but several experts have assured me that I write it like an angel. Maybe so, maybe so-… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
...the circumstances and the atmosphere always have so much to do in directing a conversation, especially a German conversation, which is only… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Words are only painted fire, a look is the fire itself. She gave that look, and carried it away to the treasury… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
What is the real function, the essential function, the supreme function, of language? Isn't it merely to convey ideas and emotions? Certainly.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
So avoid using the word 'very' because it's lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don't use very sad,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Now when I had mastered the language of this water, and had come to know every trifling feature that bordered the great… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
My philological studies have satisfied me that a gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“These descriptions do really state the truth- as nearly as the limitations of language will allow. But language is a treacherous thing,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
An average English word is four letters and a half. By hard, honest labor I've dug all the large words out of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
By reading keep in a state of excited igorance, like a blind man in a house afire; flounder around, immensely but unintelligently… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is not like studying German, where you mull along, in a groping, uncertain way, for thirty years; and at last, just… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English―it is the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the and the blind can see — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share
If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and… — Mark Twain Copy Share
You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. — Mark Twain Copy Share
![“[On Dutch flat poetry]: It is too smooth and blubbery; it reads like butter-milk gurgling from a jug.” quote by Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/326/mark-twain-22_dutch_on-dutch-flat-poetry-it-is-too-smooth-an_2523599.png)
