I am what is called a professor emeritus—from the Latin e, 'out,' and meritus, 'so he ought to be. — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
My parents migrated to Canada in 1876, and I decided to go with them. — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
You cannot depict love inside a frame of fact. It needs a mist to dissolve in. — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
You can never have international peace as long as you have national poverty. — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
Humour is essentially a comforter, reconciling us to things as they are in contrast to things as they might be. — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
Most people can tire of a lecture in fifteen minutes, clever people can do it in five, and sensible people don't go… — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
With the Great Detective, to think was to act, and to act was to think. Frequently he could do both together. — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
It is difficult to be funny and great at the same time. Aristophanes and Moliere and Mark Twain must sit below Aristotle… — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
The road comes to an end just when it ought to be getting somewhere. The passengers alight, shaken and weary, to begin,… — Stephen Leacock Copy Share Image
You frequently ask, where are the friends of your childhood, and urge that they shall be brought back to you. As far as I… — Stephen Leacock Copy Share
The parent who could see his boy as he really is, would shake his head and say: 'Willie is no good; I'll sell him. — Stephen Leacock Copy Share
It's called political economy because it is has nothing to do with either politics or economy. — Stephen Leacock Copy Share
How can you shorten the subject? That stern struggle with the multiplication table, for many people not yet ended in victory, how can you… — Stephen Leacock Copy Share
A silk dress in four sections, and shoes with high heels that would have broken the heart of John Calvin. — Stephen Leacock Copy Share
Humor may be defined as the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life, and the artistic expression thereof. — Stephen Leacock Copy Share
A lone maple leaf resting on sand Have you ever been out for a late autumn walk in the closing part of the afternoon,… — Stephen Leacock Copy Share
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies. — Stephen Leacock Copy Share
“Suppose a would-be writer can't begin? I really believe there are many excellent writers who have never written because they never could begin. This… — Stephen Leacock Copy Share
We think of the noble object for which the professor appears tonight, we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who… — Stephen Leacock Copy Share
Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. — Stephen Leacock Copy Share
The writing of solid, instructive stuff fortified by facts and figures is easy enough. There is no trouble in writing a scientific treatise on… — Stephen Leacock Copy Share
Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it. — Stephen Leacock Copy Share
