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Bipolar disorder Quote by Thomas Joiner

“There are people who fantasize about suicide, and paradoxically, these fantasies can be soothing because they usually involve either fantasizing about others' reactions to one's suicide or imagining how death would be a relief from life's travails. In both cases, an aspect of the fantasy is to…” quote by Thomas Joiner
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““There are people who fantasize about suicide, and paradoxically, these fantasies can be soothing because they usually involve either fantasizing about others' reactions to one's suicide or imagining how death would be a relief from life's travails. In both cases, an aspect of the fantasy is to exert control, either over others' views or toward life's difficulties. The writer A. Alvarez stated, " There people ... for whom the mere idea of suicide is enough; they can continue to function efficiently and even happily provided they know they have their own, specially chosen means of escape always ready..." In her riveting 2008 memoir of bipolar disorder, Manic, Terri Cheney opened the book by stating, "People... don't understand that when you're seriously depressed, suicidal ideation can be the only thing that keeps you alive. Just knowing there's an out--even if it's bloody, even if it's permanent--makes the pain bearable for one more day." This strategy appears to be effective for some people, but only for a while. Over longer periods, fantasizing about death leaves people more depressed and thus at higher risk for suicide, as Eddie Selby, Mike Amestis, and I recently showed in a study on violent daydreaming. A strategy geared toward increased feelings of self-control (fantasizing about the effects of one's suicide) "works" momentarily, but ultimately backfires by undermining feelings of genuine self-control in the long run.””

Thomas Joiner

About This Quote

Source Book: My Life with Bipolar Disorder by Manic Terri Cheney, 2008

People sometimes use suicidal fantasies as a temporary coping mechanism to regain a sense of control over overwhelming pain, but this relief is short‑lived and can increase long‑term risk.

In simple terms: Suicidal thoughts may feel like control but are harmful over time.

Key Takeaway

Seek healthier ways to regain control.

Themes

mental health coping control risk suicide

Mood

anxious reflective hopeful

Type

advice clinical psychological

When to use this quote

  • clinical therapy
  • crisis counseling
  • support groups
  • mindfulness practice
  • emergency planning

Key Concepts

psychology self‑regulation daydreaming risk assessment

Questions to Reflect On

  • What healthier alternatives can provide a sense of control?
  • How can you recognize when a coping fantasy becomes harmful?
A Different Perspective

The strategy may backfire, deepening hopelessness and reducing genuine self‑efficacy.

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