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Better day Quote by Richard Rohr

“I am just like you. My immediate response to most situations is with reactions of attachment, defensiveness, judgment, control, and analysis. I am better at calculating than contemplating. Let’s admit that we all start there. The False Self seems to have the “first gaze” at almost everything. The…” quote by Richard Rohr
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““I am just like you. My immediate response to most situations is with reactions of attachment, defensiveness, judgment, control, and analysis. I am better at calculating than contemplating. Let’s admit that we all start there. The False Self seems to have the “first gaze” at almost everything. The first gaze is seldom compassionate. It is too busy weighing and feeling itself: “How will this affect me?” or “How can I get back in control of this situation?” This leads us to an implosion, a self-preoccupation that cannot enter into communion with the other or the moment. In other words, we first feel our feelings before we can relate to the situation and emotion of the other. Only after God has taught us how to live “undefended,” can we immediately stand with and for the other, and in the present moment. It takes lots of practice. On my better days, when I am “open, undefended, and immediately present,” as Gerald May says, I can sometimes begin with a contemplative mind and heart. Often I can get there later and even end there, but it is usually a second gaze. The True Self seems to always be ridden and blinded by the defensive needs of the False Self. It is an hour-by-hour battle, at least for me. I can see why all spiritual traditions insist on daily prayer, in fact, morning, midday, evening, and before we go to bed, too! Otherwise, I can assume that I am back in the cruise control of small and personal self-interest, the pitiable and fragile “Richard self.””

Richard Rohr

About This Quote

Source Book: Falling Up (2011) by Richard Rohr

The ego‑driven “False Self” reacts defensively, blocking compassion; moving toward an “undefended” presence requires practice and spiritual discipline.

In simple terms: Ego reacts defensively; compassion needs openness.

Key Takeaway

Practice mindfulness and prayer to soften ego defenses.

Themes

spiritual growth mindfulness self‑compassion

Mood

introspective hopeful

Type

spiritual contemplative

When to use this quote

  • daily meditation
  • therapy sessions
  • conflict resolution
  • creative collaboration

Key Concepts

psychology spirituality contemplation

Questions to Reflect On

  • How can you recognize your first defensive reaction?
  • What practices help you shift to a compassionate “second gaze”?
A Different Perspective

True Self may be overwhelmed by habitual defenses, making change difficult.

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