““You do?” Marlboro Man responded. “You want to elope?” “Well yeah…kinda,” I responded. “What do you think?” “Well,” he began. “What brought this on?” He didn’t say it, but I knew he didn’t want to elope. He wanted to have a wedding. He wanted to celebrate. “Oh, I don’t know.” I hesitated, not really knowing how I felt or what to say. “I was just thinking about it when you called.” He paused for a moment. “You okay?” he asked. He’d detected the change in my voice, that a dark cloud had descended. “Oh, I’m fine!” I reassured him. “I’m totally fine. I just…oh, I just thought it might be fun to run off together.” But that wasn’t at all what I meant. What I meant was that I didn’t want to have anything whatsoever to do with family celebrations, tensions, stress, or marital problems. I didn’t want to have to worry from one day to the next whether my folks were going to hold it together through the next several months of wedding preparations. I just didn’t want to deal with it anymore. I wanted to bail. I wanted it to go away. But I didn’t say that; it was too much for that late-night phone call, too much for me to explain. “Well, I’m open,” Marlboro Man responded, yawning through his words. “We can just figure it out tomorrow.” “Yeah,” I said, yawning in return. “Good night…” I fell asleep on my comfortable chair, hugging Fox Johnson, a worn-out Steiff animal my parents had given me back when we were a happy, perfect family.””
