Affair Quote by Lewis B. Smedes
“Forgiving is an affair strictly between a victim and a victimizer. Everyone else should step aside...The worst wounds I ever felt were the ones people gave to my children. Wrong my kids, you wrong me. And my hurt qualifies me to forgive you. But only for the pain you caused me when you wounded them. My children alone are qualified to forgive you for what you did to them.”
About This Quote
Source Book: The Art of Forgiveness, Lewis B. Smedes, 1985
Forgiveness is a personal process between the harmed and the offender; others should not intervene. The deepest pain comes from harm done to loved ones, especially children.
In simple terms: Forgiveness is between victim and offender; others stay out.
Key Takeaway
Forgive only when you truly understand the hurt.
Themes
forgiveness
family
justice
Mood
reflective
somber
hopeful
Type
ethical
psychological
advice
When to use this quote
- parenting
- family conflict
- legal disputes
- counseling
- community mediation
Key Concepts
personal responsibility
emotional healing
ethical boundaries
Questions to Reflect On
- How do you balance personal healing with the need for accountability?
- When is it appropriate to involve others in a forgiveness process?
A Different Perspective
Forgiveness may be impossible if the offender shows no remorse or if power dynamics prevent honest dialogue.
