Adoption Quote by Joan Didion
““Adoption, I was to learn although not immediately, is hard to get right. As a concept, even what was then its most widely approved narrative carried bad news: if someone "chose" you, what does that tell you? Doesn't it tell you that you were available to be "chosen"? Doesn't it tell you, in the end, that there are only two people in the world? The ones who "chose" you? And the other who didn't? Are we beginning to see how the word "abandonment" might enter the picture? Might we not make efforts to avoid such abandonment? Might not such efforts be characterized as "frantic"? Do we want to ask ourselves what follows? Do we need to ask ourselves what words come next to mind? Isn't one of those words "fear"? Isn't another of those words "anxiety"?””
About This Quote
Source Interview: The New Yorker, 1975
The quote explores how framing adoption as a choice creates a binary of chosen vs. unchosen, leading to fear and anxiety about abandonment and the need to avoid it.
In simple terms: Adoption framed as a choice can cause fear of abandonment.
Key Takeaway
Recognize and address the anxiety around adoption narratives.
Themes
adoption
choice
fear
anxiety
identity
Mood
reflective
empathetic
Type
analytical
thought‑provoking
When to use this quote
- family counseling
- adoption support groups
- parental self‑reflection
- policy discussion
Key Concepts
psychology
social narrative
attachment theory
Questions to Reflect On
- How does language shape our perception of adoption?
- What steps can reduce fear in adoption processes?
A Different Perspective
The binary view oversimplifies complex relational dynamics and may stigmatize those not "chosen".
![“Next came the Patent laws. These began in England in 1624; and, in this country, with the adoption of our constitution. Before then [these?], any man might instantly use what another had invented; so that the inventor had no special advantage from his own invention. The patent system changed this…” quote by Abraham Lincoln](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/449/abraham-lincoln-88_adoption_next-came-the-patent-laws-these-began-in_1828.jpg)
