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Taste Quote by James Salter

“It was easy to find things she would like. Our taste was the same, it had been from the first. It would be impossible to live with someone otherwise. I've always thought it was the most important single thing, though people may not realize it. Perhaps it's transmitted to them in the way someone…” quote by James Salter
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““It was easy to find things she would like. Our taste was the same, it had been from the first. It would be impossible to live with someone otherwise. I've always thought it was the most important single thing, though people may not realize it. Perhaps it's transmitted to them in the way someone dresses or, for that matter, undresses, but taste is a thing no one is born with, it's learned, and at a certain point it can't be altered. We sometimes talked about that, what could and couldn't be altered. People were always saying something had completely changed them, some experience or book or man, but if you knew how they had been before, nothing much really had changed. When you found someone who was tremendously appealing but not quite perfect, you might believe you could change them after marriage, not everything, just a few things, but in truth the most you could expect was to change perhaps one thing and even that would eventually go back to what it had been.””

James Salter

About This Quote

Source Novel: A Sport and a Pastime by James Salter, 1979

Compatibility in relationships is rooted in shared tastes and habits formed over time, making fundamental change difficult.

In simple terms: Shared tastes bind partners; change is limited.

Key Takeaway

Accept and appreciate inherent differences.

Themes

relationships compatibility change personal growth

Mood

reflective melancholic

Type

philosophical observational

When to use this quote

  • marriage counseling
  • partner selection
  • relationship expectations
  • personal development

Key Concepts

psychology habit formation romantic idealism

Questions to Reflect On

  • What aspects of a partner are truly changeable?
  • How do shared tastes influence long‑term satisfaction?
A Different Perspective

Even deep love cannot fully reshape another's core habits.

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