Behave Quote by Jamaica Kincaid
““this is how you smile to someone you don't like too much; this is how you smile to someone you don't like at all; this is how you smile to someone you like completely; this is how you set a table for tea; this is how you set a table for dinner; this is how you set a table for dinner with an important guest; this is how you set a table for lunch; this is how you set a table for breakfast; this is how to behave in the presence of men who don't know you very well, and this way they won't recognize immediately the slut I have warned you against becoming;””
About This Quote
Source Book: Lucy, by Jamaica Kincaid, 1990
The passage illustrates how social performance varies with relationship closeness and context, revealing the masks people wear to manage perception.
In simple terms: People change behavior based on how well they know others.
Key Takeaway
Adjust behavior to suit social context.
Themes
social dynamics
identity
performance
relationships
Mood
reflective
observational
Type
advice
observational
When to use this quote
- work meetings
- family gatherings
- first dates
- formal events
- casual get‑togethers
Key Concepts
self-presentation
social norms
power dynamics
Questions to Reflect On
- How do you decide which mask to wear?
- When does authenticity outweigh social performance?
A Different Perspective
The advice assumes one can control others' perceptions, which may not always be possible.
