Child Quote by Gordon Neufeld
““What to us looks like independence is really just dependence transferred. We are in such a hurry for our children to be able to do things themselves that we do not see just how dependent they really are. Like power, dependence has become a dirty word. We want our children to be self-directing, self-motivated, self-controlled, self-orienting, self-reliant, and self-assured. We have put such a premium on independence that we lose sight of what childhood is about. Parents””
About This Quote
Source Book: The Power of Attachment, Gordon Neufeld, 2016
Independence is often misunderstood as the absence of reliance, but true growth comes from balanced interdependence and supportive guidance.
In simple terms: Independence is really about healthy dependence.
Key Takeaway
Value interdependence over forced autonomy.
Themes
parenting
development
interdependence
Mood
reflective
concerned
Type
advice
philosophical
When to use this quote
- raising children
- education
- family dynamics
- coaching
- mental health
Key Concepts
attachment theory
psychological development
autonomy
Questions to Reflect On
- How can parents nurture autonomy while acknowledging dependence?
- What signs show a child is ready for self‑direction?
A Different Perspective
Overemphasizing independence can hinder emotional resilience and social skills.
