Child Quote by Daniel Siegel
““Having an emotional intolerance for helplessness can lead to parental behaviors that target that helplessness in children and attack them for it... When their lives provoke the intolerable emotion in us, our inability to be aware of it consciously and to make sense of it in our own lives leaves us at risk of being unable to tolerate it in our children... This intolerance can take the form of becoming blind to or ignoring our children's emotions, which gives them a sense of unreality and disconnects them from their own feelings... Then, the unsuspecting child becomes the recipient of hostile responses that become woven into his internal sense of identity and directly impair his ability to tolerate those very same emotions in himself.””
About This Quote
Source Book: The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson, 2011
Parents who cannot tolerate their own feelings of helplessness may project hostility onto children, harming the child's emotional development and self‑acceptance.
In simple terms: Intolerant parents can hurt kids emotionally.
Key Takeaway
Recognize and manage your own emotions to protect children.
Themes
parenting
emotion
identity
attachment
psychology
Mood
reflective
concerned
Type
advice
psychological
When to use this quote
- family therapy
- parent‑child communication
- emotional coaching
- self‑awareness
Key Concepts
attachment theory
emotional regulation
inner child
identity formation
Questions to Reflect On
- How do your own feelings of helplessness affect your parenting?
- What steps can you take to become more emotionally aware?
A Different Perspective
Children may internalize hostility, leading to long‑term emotional difficulties.
