““Having an emotional intolerance for helplessness can lead to parental behaviors that target that helplessness in children and attack them for it... When their lives provoke the intolerable emotion in us, our inability to be aware of it consciously and to make sense of it in our own lives leaves us at risk of being unable to tolerate it in our children... This intolerance can take the form of becoming blind to or ignoring our children's emotions, which gives them a sense of unreality and disconnects them from their own feelings... Then, the unsuspecting child becomes the recipient of hostile responses that become woven into his internal sense of identity and directly impair his ability to tolerate those very same emotions in himself.””
