Funny Alcohol Quotes
- Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. — Ambrose Bierce
- Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl's clothes off. — Raymond Chandler
- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. — Kinky Friedman
- Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors… — Graham Greene
- Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. — W.C. Fields
- Drink the first. Sip the second slowly. Skip the third. — Knute Rockne
- Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. — George Bernard Shaw
- An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do. — Dylan Thomas
- Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend! — Gerard Way
- When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. — Henny Youngman
- Everything in moderation, including moderation. — Oscar Wilde
- Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough. — Mark Twain