Giving love Quote by bell hooks
““It still took years for me to let go of learned pattern's of behavior that negated my capacity to give and receive love. One pattern that made the practice of love especially difficult was my constantly choosing to be with men who were emotionally wounded, who were not that interested in loving, even though they desired to be loved. I wanted to know love but was afraid to be intimate. By choosing men who were not interested in being loving, I was able to practice giving love but always within an unfufilling context. Naturally, my need to receive love was not met. I got what I was accustomed to getting. Care and affection, usually mingled with a degree of unkindness, neglect, and on some occasions, out right cruelty.””
About This Quote
Source Book: All About Love, bell hooks, 2000
Unresolved patterns of choosing unavailable partners hinder love, perpetuating pain.
In simple terms: Repeatedly choosing emotionally wounded partners blocks love.
Key Takeaway
Break harmful relationship cycles.
Themes
love
relationships
attachment
self‑awareness
growth
Mood
introspective
empathetic
Type
self‑help
philosophical
When to use this quote
- therapy
- dating
- self‑reflection
- support groups
Key Concepts
Psychology
attachment theory
feminist theory
Questions to Reflect On
- What attracts you to unavailable partners?
- How can you nurture healthier love?
A Different Perspective
Changing patterns requires confronting deep‑seated fears.
