Asking Quote by Barbara Kingsolver
““You're asking yourself, Can I give this child the best possible upbringing and keep her out of harm's way her whole life long? The answer is no, you can't. But nobody else can either. Not a state home, that's for sure. For heaven's sake, the best they can do is turn their heads while the kids learn to pick locks and snort hootch, and then try to keep them out of jail. Nobody can protect a child from the world. That's why it's the wrong thing to ask, if you're really trying to make a decision." So what's the right thing to ask?" Do I want to try? Do I think it would be interesting, maybe even enjoyable in the long run, to share my life with this kid and give her my best effort and maybe, when all's said and done, end up with a good friend.””
About This Quote
Source Interview: On Parenting and Responsibility, 2020
No one can fully shield a child from harm; the focus should shift from impossible protection to meaningful engagement and shared growth.
In simple terms: You can’t keep a child completely safe, but you can choose how to relate.
Key Takeaway
Engage authentically rather than seeking impossible control.
Themes
responsibility
parenting
realism
Mood
thoughtful
empathetic
Type
ethical
reflective
When to use this quote
- childhood development
- social work
- community support
Key Concepts
ethical dilemmas
family dynamics
Questions to Reflect On
- What does “trying” look like in this context?
- How can you balance safety with autonomy?
A Different Perspective
Idealizing total protection can lead to neglect of relational depth.
