Will Durst Quotes
- I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is.
- Men are superior to women. For one thing, men can urinate from a speeding car.
- How did sex come to be thought of as dirty in the first place? God must have been a Republican.
- The reason the Democrats are so intent on passing a stem-cell bill is they're depending on the research to grow themselves a spine.
- The administration says the American people want tax cuts. Well, duh. The American people also want drive-through nickel beer night. The American people want to…
- There is humor in the specter of the worst disaster in our nation's history. All I have to do is sweep away the debris of…
- It's okay to laugh in the bedroom so long as you don't point
- Well, we won the war. You know what that means. In twenty years, we'll all be driving Iraqi cars
- The problem is, we have yet to convince the Taliban they are fellow passengers on spaceship Earth.
- You can't kill America. We're more than a nation. We're a notion. We're an idea. The American Dream. You never heard of the Afghanistani Dream…
- Voters want a fraud they can believe in.
- Walter Mondale has all the charisma of a speed bump.
- In San Francisco, Halloween is redundant.
- Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back…
- Men are superior to women, for one thing they can urinate from a speeding car.
- I'm glad Reagan is president. Of course, I'm a professional comedian.