Whitney Cummings Quotes

16 quotes in 367 categories

• I guess the verdict is in - I am not a sociopath. It's not effective or productive not to be nice. It would undermine the…
• I don't want to look at myself - ever. All I see is that my face is a problem. It's asymmetrical. I get terrible bags…
• My definition of love is: Being willing to die for someone, that you yourself want to kill.
• Why do all balls look like they're 150 years old?
• I feel like, in a lot of shows where the woman is in charge, the woman is this ball buster and the guy is sort…
• I'm the one who's dating the craft-service guy instead of the producer. Plus, if a producer is going to date a hot young thing, I'm…
• Saying women aren't funny is now like saying Asians can't drive or saying black people have bad credit. It's just really, like, so obsolete.
• I did some pretty embarrassing modeling, like catalogs and QVC. I know there's probably a stereotype where all pretty girls think they're unattractive, but modeling…
• I don't think that women necessarily always write like women. I was a writer on the 'Comedy Central Roasts' for a while, and I always…
• I remember my agent at ICM at the beginning of my career telling me that I wasn't pretty enough, that I was always going to…
• I think that we're in a really amazing time, where there are really a lot of really fantastic female actresses and comedians. I imagine there's…
• I was joking the other day about how my real life feels like a TV show, and my TV life feels real - because, to…
• There was a time in L.A. when I drove to 7-Eleven to go grocery shopping, and I locked my keys in my car, which wasn't…
• When a guy writes a scene where a woman does a deviant sex act on camera, it's objectifying. But when a woman writes it, it's…
• A true friend will go with the instagram filter that flatters you.
• Your vagina is like the finale of lost: 10 million people have seen it, everyone was disappointed, and everyone who was in it died.

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