Stephen Leacock Quotes

88 quotes in 1183 categories

• It may be those who do most, dream most.
• If every day in the life of a school could be the last day but one, there would be little fault to find with it.
• Hockey captures the essence of Canadian experience in the New World. In a land so inescapably and inhospitably cold, hockey is the chance of life,…
• In point of morals, the average woman is, even for business, too crooked.
• In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
• Writing is not hard. Just get paper and pencil, sit down, and write as it occurs to you. The writing is easy-it's the occurring that's…
• Chess is one long regret.
• In earlier times they had no statistics and so they had to fall back on lies. Hence the huge exaggerations of primitive literature, giants, miracles,…
• Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to…
• A lone maple leaf resting on sand Have you ever been out for a late autumn walk in the closing part of the afternoon, and…
• Success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration.
• The writing of solid, instructive stuff fortified by facts and figures is easy enough. There is no trouble in writing a scientific treatise on the…
• A sportsman is a man who, every now and then, simply has to get out and kill something.
• Astronomy teaches the correct use of the sun and the planets.
• I am what is called a professor emeritus—from the Latin e, 'out,' and meritus, 'so he ought to be.
• The Lord said 'let there be wheat' and Saskatchewan was born
• The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything
• There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit
• On the same bill and on the same side of it there should not be two charges for the same thing
• The sorrows and disasters of Europe always brought fortune to America.

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