Russell Baker Quotes

104 quotes in 1694 categories

• An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious,…
• Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it.
• Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.
• A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is like the Mafia getting together to bump off the Godfather…
• Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when age finally stirs their curiosity, there is no parent left…
• Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.
• Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
• In America, it is sport that is the opiate of the masses.
• Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure in events that dismay the rest of humanity.
• Listen once in a while. It's amazing what you can hear.
• Americans like fat books and thin women.
• I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens in…
• People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure.
• Anything that isn't opposed by about 40 percent of humanity is either an evil business or so unimportant that it simply doesn't matter.
• Gerald Boyd was a classic specimen of the self-made man. Born poor, he worked and studied his way up out of poverty under the guidance…
• It was clear soon after his election that Obama, like FDR, wanted to start dealing with the economic crisis immediately after his inauguration.
• The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him.
• When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools.
• Anticipating that most poetry will be worse than carrying heavy luggage through O'Hare Airport, the public, to its loss, reads very little of it.
• Caution: These verses may be hazardous to your solemnity.

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