Richard Jeni Quotes

11 quotes in 181 categories

• I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it…
• I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's…
• It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You…
• The only difference between the women I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you…
• When one guy sees an invisible man he's a nut case; ten people see him it's a cult; ten million people see him it's a…
• Religious war at its simplest is killing each other over who has the best imaginary friend.
• The way I see life, it's like we're all flying on the Hindenburg, why fight over the window seats?
• You know what the average person is? Average.
• The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out…
• America: Twenty million illegal aliens can't be wrong!

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