Oscar Levant Quotes

51 quotes in 443 categories

• There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.
• I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.
• I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.
• I am no more humble than my talents require.
• Once he makes up his mind, he's full of indecision. - On Dwight D. Eisenhower
• I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.
• A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.
• When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.
• My psychiatrist once said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone'.
• I'm a concert pianist, that's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment.
• An epigram is only a wisecrack that's played at Carnegie Hall.
• Ballet is the fairies baseball.
• Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
• I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.
• When I appeared before the draft board examiner during World War II, he asked me if I thought I could kill. "I don't know about…
• I could never have a mistress, because I couldn't bear to tell the story of my life all over again.
• Self-pity - it's the only pity that counts.
• Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
• There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
• The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

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