Mason Cooley

A Museum of fetishes would give special attention to the history of underwear.

— Mason Cooley

The power of the past does not depend on our knowledge of it.

— Mason Cooley

If we think about the obvious long enough, it dissolves.

— Mason Cooley

Nonsense is socially OK, but not stupidity.

— Mason Cooley

Every literary critic believes he will outwit history and have the last word.

— Mason Cooley

We take refuge in illness and then are trapped there.

— Mason Cooley

The popping of bubblegum discourages the most determined lecher.

— Mason Cooley

Expenditure now attracts fame as conquest once did.

— Mason Cooley

Never trust the judgment of an enthusiastic man; never trust the promises of a lazy one.

— Mason Cooley

Pleasing illusion: if my childhood had been the Paradise it should have been, all would now be well.

— Mason Cooley

Good places for aphorisms: in fortune cookies, on bumper stickers, and on banners flying over the Palace of Free Advice.

— Mason Cooley

To be thoroughly modern, an aphorism should trail off vaguely rather than coming to a point.

— Mason Cooley

Expensive advertising courts us with hints and images. The ordinary kind merely says, Buy.

— Mason Cooley

The little suckings and smackings of the perversions are the sounds of joyous infancy.

— Mason Cooley

In middle age, I practiced feeling old, but the real thing has been a rude surprise.

— Mason Cooley

The tragic hero prefers death to prudence. The comedian prefers playing tricks to winning. Only the villain really plays to win.

— Mason Cooley

Unlike art and sex, money always arouses interest.

— Mason Cooley

Nothing easier than to confuse busyness with goodness.

— Mason Cooley

A skyscraper is a boast in glass and steel.

— Mason Cooley

Conscience is the moralized form of self-absorption.

— Mason Cooley

People are not the way they are primarily in order to annoy me.

— Mason Cooley

Pain narrows consciousness; pleasure blurs it.

— Mason Cooley

Disappointment proves that expectations were mistaken.

— Mason Cooley

An imprudent enemy is less dangerous than an imprudent friend.

— Mason Cooley

The smile of a politician is strong and friendly, but noncommittal.

— Mason Cooley

After a moment of shrinking back, we domesticate the grotesque.

— Mason Cooley

Not romance but companionship makes the happiness of daily life.

— Mason Cooley

I feel disappointed, but I don't remember just what I expected.

— Mason Cooley

Most self-laceration is more noisy than painful.

— Mason Cooley

Mathematics: silent harmonies. Music: sounding numbers.

— Mason Cooley

Death is always there, just beneath the surface.

— Mason Cooley

Scholars dream of finding small facts pregnant with great progeny.

— Mason Cooley

I would enjoy experiencing the hollowness of success at first- hand.

— Mason Cooley

Aimless drifting also fulfills an intention.

— Mason Cooley

The transcendental promises a vacation from history.

— Mason Cooley

I did not know I was in my prime until afterwards.

— Mason Cooley

At the end of every diet, the path curves back to the trough.

— Mason Cooley

Poor but happy is not a phrase invented by a poor person.

— Mason Cooley

Forgiveness is like faith. You have to keep reviving it.

— Mason Cooley

I want to appear ordinary, but I have it understood that I am not.

— Mason Cooley