A reputable lawyer will advise you to keep out of the law, make the best of a foolish bargain, and not get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“If you notice, most folks don't go to church only when they've got to; but a hog is different.” — Mark Twain Church Copy Share Image
Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Don't live in the past, don't ponder about the future, stay at the PRESENT moment NOW...always. — Mark Twain Moments Copy Share Image
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There is nothing more awe-inspiring than a miracle except the credulity that can take it at par. — Mark Twain Awe Copy Share Image
As a rule, we go about with masks, we go about looking honest, and we are able to conceal ourselves all through… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Now I can only pray that there may be a God -- and a heaven -- or something better. — Mark Twain God Copy Share Image
...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel;… — Mark Twain Angel Copy Share Image
“will say this much for the nobility: that, tyrannical, murderous, rapacious, and morally rotten as they were, they were deeply and enthusiastically… — Mark Twain Nobility Copy Share Image
Man is without doubt the most interesting fool there is. He concedes that God made the angels immune from pain and death,… — Mark Twain Angel Copy Share Image
I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English - it… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the… — Mark Twain Absurd Copy Share Image
“all told about in that book, which is mostly a true book, with some stretchers, as I said before. Now the way… — Mark Twain Book Copy Share Image
When in doubt, tell the truth. That maxim I did invent, but never expected it to be applied to me. I did… — Mark Twain Doubt Copy Share Image
I was in one of the most grand attitudes I ever struck, with my arm stretched up pointing to the sun. It… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry — Mark Twain Death Copy Share Image
It must be well-nigh a maximum of sense to behave so that one escapes being hanged. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.” — Mark Twain Child Copy Share Image
I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in… — Mark Twain Church Copy Share Image
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. — Mark Twain Forgiveness Copy Share Image
Women cannot receive even the most palpably judicious suggestion without arguing it; that is, married women. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I am a democrat only on principle, not by instinct, nobody is that. Doubtless some people say they are, but this world… — Mark Twain Democracy Copy Share Image
I have traveled more than anyone else, and I have noticed that even the angels speak English with an accent. — Mark Twain Accents Copy Share Image
If we only had some God in the country's laws, instead of being in such a sweat to get him into the… — Mark Twain Constitution Copy Share Image
What God lacks is convictions- stability of character. He ought to be a Presbyterian or a Catholic or something- not try to… — Mark Twain Catholic Copy Share Image
We must put up with clothes as they are they have their reason for existing. They are on us to expose us… — Mark Twain Clothes Copy Share Image
The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten — Mark Twain Diplomacy Copy Share Image
You can't no more teach what you ain't learned than you can come from where you ain't been. — Mark Twain Education Copy Share Image
What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The most important days in your life are the day you were born…and the day you find out why.” — Mark Twain Important days Copy Share Image
When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface — Mark Twain Dinner Copy Share Image
Why should anybody want to save the human race, or damn it either? Does God want its society? Does Satan? — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When you feel like tellin a feller to go to the devil - tell him to go to Chicago - it'll anser… — Mark Twain Chicago Copy Share Image
If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed. — Mark Twain Books Copy Share Image
What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey. — Mark Twain Creation Copy Share Image
Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.” — Mark Twain Humor Copy Share Image
